Introduction to Success & Sanity: How to get everything you want without losing everything you are
When
this book first came to me, the question immediately followed "Does the
world really need one more self-help book?' With so many
similar books with similar messages on the market, why would I need to add
to the din? Yet, as I take stock of the current state of affairs, the
answer is obvious: people are hungry for something that will help them lead
fulfilled, useful lives. They need to understand that change is
possible, and they need tools for change.
Personal development is
like good music, you want to hear it again and again. Just because I own
all of Beethoven's music doesn't mean I wouldn't listen to Hyadn, Smashing
Pumpkins, or Hank Williams for that matter. People find that as they
change, they hear and see things differently. Often I become aware of
new pass
ages
in music I have heard hundreds of times, yet the music didn't change, I did!
Do I have anything new to add? Yes, I do! Maybe you've heard all this before, but I doubt it. Just this week for example, I was listening to Brian Tracy's classic tape series The Psychology of Achievement. . . I picked up several concepts that were new to me even though I have listened to it several times. My thinking and outlook changed. So maybe I've put a new spin on an old philosophy or maybe the seeds will now fall on more fertile ground; I had to hear the message many times before it made sense to me, and I've found that to be true of most people. Sometimes it takes a new messenger, sometimes a new message.
One of the problems I have with books like this and “motivational speakers” is that they start to sound “preachy.” They seem to have all the answers. They have a “do it my way” attitude and anything else is wrong. One speaker said “if you are listening to music in your car, you are wasting your time!” What a bunch of hoo-ha! Granted, listening to teaching tapes while driving is an excellent way to learn, but to say that listening to music is a waste of time is blatantly erroneous. Let’s assume the speaker was making his point with hyperbole.
Yet, the information in this book is important and will change your life fundamentally and forever! If I didn’t know that to be true, I certainly wouldn’t take the time to write it. I get excited when I think of the possible ramifications of you using these tools to better your life. I can see why some speakers and writers begin to sound “preachy.”
I’ve heard it said “Don’t give advice. Smart people don’t need it and stupid people won’t take it.” Sorry, I don’t agree. I want and need advice. I’ll listen to most anyone. I may not take the advice, but I’ll listen. By saying “do this and this will happen” I am giving advice, but I don’t mean to preach.
You can “take what you like and leave the rest.” Some things in this book are not for you and that’s OK. You decide. That’s the point of this book.
I
want to get you to think, re-think, question. To that end, I will be
assigning you homework. You will be asked to write about what you
think, make a list or be creative. Success & Sanity is meant to
be used, not just read! Consume it! Now is the time to buy
yourself a good notebook to keep with Success & Sanity.
If you want this program of success to work you must, absolutely, without a doubt, do the homework. Do not dismiss writing and journaling. Even if you understand the necessity to write, do not put it off. DO IT! Writing, journaling, and list making are THE KEYS to making this work. I cannot emphasize this enough. If your intention is to just read this, don't waste your time, give it to a friend. It’s the difference between a stroll through the park and walking purposefully to an exact destination.
Trainer Don Blohawik, author of “The complete idiot’s guide to great customer service,” (and an outstanding speaker) says, “For many of us reading good material or attending seminars is similar to attending religious services; we clap our hands, we sing praises; we may even shout, ‘Hallelujah!’ And as with religion we often fail to grasp its greatest benefits because our emphasis is on belief, not practice. When the fleeting celebration is over we go back into the world just as we were before.”
There are people who seem to be addicted to this positive message, and they would be surprised to learn such an addiction is not healthy. They seem to think that if they feel better everything will be OK; that the next book or tape from a dynamic speaker will be the one that changes everything. If you are still waiting for that magic answer and you see yourself in this paragraph, please don't be discouraged. Keep at it! This book is about finding courage, letting go of fear and taking the proper action.
I find that I need repeated exposure to the information contained in this book. (That is the reason I produced the reminder tape.) However, I have known people who seem to stop at that point. They know it all but don't use it. It's one thing to have built a great library of motivational literature and tapes, but what good is knowledge if it isn't used?
I see people who read the book and attend the seminar but only connect with what they already know. They dismiss anything that is challenging or different. That is human nature. But as humans we can learn and grow if we choose to.
Don’t just shout and believe. Do the homework. Make the commitment to be “coachable” and teachable. It will change your life!
You are beginning a wonderful, difficult, and ongoing journey of change. You will encounter some huge mountains with monsters in every valley. All are real, but most simply disappear if you deal with them properly. This book will teach you how to do just that.
DO is the operative word. If, when you close the back cover you feel good, that's fine. But this isn't a feel good book it’s a do good book.
Socrates said “Let him that would move the world, first move himself.” Another old adage says “Nothing changes if nothing changes.” Knowing something and doing something are two completely different things, but many people don’t get it. Using these tools as designed will take great courage. Many, many times you will hear me say “it’s simple, but not easy.”
There is no question that your journey of self-improvement is in many ways more arduous than scaling Mt. Everest for it is first a journey within. For some this is an unknown jungle populated with horrible beasts and quicksand at every turn. They will stay home and watch the documentary of your journey on television. Some people will spend a lifetime “planning” to go, but never going. Anyone can go, but in the end, few actually do. Will you be one? Only you can decide.
This is not a “Rah, Rah!-you-can-do-it-pull-yourself-up-by-your-bootstraps-don’t worry-be-happy” book. The information in this book is a systematic approach to getting all you want, deserve and are capable of. It is simple, but not easy. It’s work, but it’s easier to be a success than a failure.
A reader once said Success & Sanity is “a book on positive attitude by a guy with a bad attitude.” It’s true. For some reason I seem to have a basically negative attitude. However, I have learned that I (and you) do not need to stay that way! We are not granite monuments, our being carved on the face, forever to be. No, we are more like wood, solid yet ever changing. Growing. If you get nothing else out of this book, remember this: You are constantly changing and you can, with the right tools, knowledge and skills, control that process for everyone’s benefit. It is your right and your responsibility.
As a negative person, I resisted the idea of success for several reasons. One, I thought if I knew about the psychology of achievement it would mean I would have to live up to impossibly high standards since I am a perfectionist.
Second,
I thought success meant money and power. A “successful” person was one
who quit his/her job, became an entrepreneur and made a million dollars
before they were 30. Or maybe became a doctor or lawyer or some
similar extremely lofty position; none of which I wanted or thought I
was capable of . Success meant becoming a “type A” person; totally
driven, working 80 hours a week, no vacations, no life outside work.
In my negative mind “successful person” equaled workaholic and I certainly
don’t want that. My thinking was: “success is all about money and
power and “money is the root of all evil” and “all power
corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely” so, it follows then,
that successful people are evil and corrupt.” It sounds so right and
is so wrong.
Third, I used to think like Bob Mandell who wrote:
“Most positive thinking philosophies are based on the idea that you paint over all negative conditioning with positive thoughts and, lo and behold, all your problems disappear. This philosophy is responsible for people who walk around smiling all the time. But when you’re near them you cringe because what you sense is garbage beneath the smile. Garbage that has not been acknowledged, much less dumped. Traditional positive thinking is like putting positive icing on a negative cake. It might taste good at first bite, but the aftertaste is awful!”
What negative, narrow, closed-minded thinking! You’d think if he knew enough about the subject to comment on it, he would have learned something about it along the way! It’s a good thing we’re smarter than that!
I
saw “success” as a mountain. The gentle slope is wide at the base but
stretching to a diminutive pinnacle far into the heavens. At the
bottom are throngs of people; you and me included, most are sitting, some
milling about, some walking in circles complaining.
The thought of climbing this forbidding, seemingly impenetrable peak was lurid and unimaginable.
Occasionally a brave soul begins to climb!
At first it is an easy walk. Soon, however, the path becomes increasingly steep and eventually there is no path at all. Boulders must be scaled.
To make it even worse there are others attempting the same journey. As you climb higher there is less real estate so there is competition for position. The higher you go the tougher the competition. Only the strongest are able to continue.
As you climb still higher you get smarter and tougher. Mean and surly.
However one day you come across a person who is not only tough and smart but ruthless and tyrannical. He will destroy you without mercy.
You
will end up at the bottom of the mountain, battered, bloody, cynical,
muttering to yourself.
Why not stay at the bottom? Why go through that?
Fortunately, I came across this from Christopher Morley: “There is only one success, to live your own life in your own way.” It opened my mind, and I suddenly realized that I could define success for myself.
I’ve learned there is not one mountain. We each have our own and our only competition is from ourselves. In fact, most others will be glad to help you if you ask!
The peak of the mountain is not nearly as high as it appears and, most important, we have all the resources within ourselves to make it to the top!
My “success” is not and should not be your “success.” For you “success” may mean living in a hut and growing your own beans. If that’s what you want, go for it! You will use the same tools to build your hut as the next person uses to build their mansion, and his neighbor uses to build his character. Success is whatever you want it to be.
I now see that to achieve only material things is not success. To get all the “stuff” you want and have no friends, family or respect is the essence of failure, not success.
Money
is not my primary motivation. I didn’t understand that in the
beginning. I thought money was all that motivated anybody and since I
didn’t seem to go after it like I thought I should, there was something
wrong with me. I thought I was lazy.
During my second reading of Napoleon Hill’s classic Think and Grow Rich, I was struck by the fact that his focus is almost completely on money and I became quite disillusioned. However, later I decided that the book was written in different times and that if Hill wrote it today, he would write more on character issues.
In this book we will explore all aspects of success and achievement. I talk at length about such things as insight, imagination and integrity, personal characteristics that make a successful person out of a wealthy one.
Yet, to only focus on character issues is not balanced. Part of our responsibility is to use our unique talents for the benefit of all. For some of us that will mean spending time, for others it will be only money, for most of us we will give both.
You have the ability to earn great wealth. But to achieve wealth at the expense of others is not success. To become rich and not give back is to be a failure. This book is about true success that encompasses money, possessions, family, community, harmony and peace. I never understood how a person with money could be at peace. It is possible if we start with a perception of balance.
Most books on success seem to be written by business people who have had their nose to the grindstone so long they have become “hard-nosed.” I, on the other hand, while writing from business experience am also a bit of a philosopher and poet. This book may seem a bit “mushy” for some. For this I do not apologize. Balance.
People ask me if I am a "motivational speaker." I see myself as a teacher rather than a "motivator", but I'll accept the title with gratitude. Motivation is defined: "to stir to action." Yet, I can't motivate you to do anything. You are the motivator, all I do is provide the information. From knowledge comes motivation. If I present my material in such a way that you listen, understand and take the proper action, then I have accomplished my mission.
When I first sat down to write this book in 1995 the words were not there. There were several false starts over many months. It looked as though it was not going to happen. I see now I could not write this book until it was clear to me how my book would be different. Once I defined Success & Sanity, not the book, but the concept, that it’s about how to get everything you want without losing everything you are, the words came in a flood!
I remember reading how great composers would say that they were only a conduit for the music. Beethoven said the music was already “out there” he just wrote it down. I understand what he meant! These words were “out there” somewhere and it is clear they were given to me. Writing this book has been a life-changing spiritual experience.
Even after the wonderful and “awe-full” experience of writing Success & Sanity, it was not easy to put this book out for all the world to see. Taking on a project like this is difficult because you know that the first effort will not be your best. Yet, it had to be done. You will never improve if you have nothing to improve upon, so I put together Success & Sanity and sent it out warts and all.
The
first editions were self-published and I sold most of them myself as “back
of the room” product after my speeches and seminars. As far as I know
everyone who bought the book was happy with it and several people purchased
additional copies as gifts. A wonderful compliment!
Now, here we are at the fourth edition! I have added some excellent information that I’ve discovered in the past few years and surprisingly, I have taken out very little.
After re-reading Success & Sanity I’m still very proud of it. I like this book. I hope you like it, too. And I hope you have a great adventure on the road to your success!
Are you ready to starting enjoying your success? Come on, let's get going!